Out of The Mouth of Babes.

I’m sharing this from the heart of my oldest grandson who is 12 years old, because he asked me to. He wants adults to truly hear what children often feel but don’t always say.

He told me, I don’t think parents really understand how much it hurts when both of them aren’t there. Yeah, we can still smile, laugh, and go on with life; but inside, there’s this emptiness, sadness, and anger that never really goes away. You think we don’t notice things, but we do. We feel it every day.

He believes if more parents knew how deep it really goes, they might try harder to bridge the gap, heal the wounds, and keep that balance for the sake of their kids’ hearts.

He also mentioned, for a boy, having a father is huge. A father teaches you how to be a man; how to stand up, how to protect, how to lead, and how to carry yourself in this world. Without that, you’re left trying to figure it out on your own, and sometimes you feel lost. You can learn from others, but it’s not the same as learning from your own dad.

And mothers are just as important. There are things only a mother’s love and care can provide; comfort, understanding, and a sense of safety that helps a child grow confident and secure. Sometimes, a mother feels things a father can’t, and that balance is what every child needs.

And here’s something else my grandson wants parents to really think about: sometimes the hurt a child feels isn’t only because one parent is gone; it’s also because both parents can let their own feelings get in the way. Sometimes it’s anger, sometimes it’s pride, sometimes it’s focusing so much on your own life or new relationships that the child’s needs aren’t first. Even if it’s not on purpose, when parents let those things come before the child’s heart, the one who feels it the most is the child.

When one parent is gone, it’s not just “life being different.” It’s like a part of me is missing. There’s a hole no one can fill, not friends, not family; because it’s their place, and they’re not in it. Sometimes I would wonder if I did something wrong, but deep down I know I didn’t, or wonder why they don’t try harder to be here.

People say, “You’ll be fine, you’ll get used to it.” But no; this isn’t something you just get used to. It changes you. It makes you stronger in some ways, but it also leaves pain. I wish parents knew that kids don’t just move on. We carry the hurt, the questions, the missing pieces.

If you’re a parent, please understand; your presence matters more than you think. We don’t just want you to send money or gifts once in a while. We want you here. We need you here. When you’re not here, it’s not just that you’re gone; it feels like everything is out of place. And that’s a pain we never forget. Put your kids first. Even if you split up, always be in your kids’ lives. And be real with them. I’d rather be told the truth that everything’s not going to be okay than be told it is when it’s not.”

From my view as his grandmother, hearing what he said really touched my heart. Because what he’s saying is not just about his own hurt, it’s about the silent ache carried by so many children. We adults sometimes forget that kids notice everything. They might not say it, but they feel the missing piece, the unspoken tension, and the shift in balance when a parent is absent.

That’s why we wrote Who Made Me. It’s about understanding our true value, our identity, and where we come from; not just from our earthly parents, but from YHWH who created us. Still, YHWH’s design for a child’s life was never for them to grow up feeling abandoned, unseen, or second place in their parents’ priorities. The book reminds us that while YHWH made us complete in Him, He also placed parents in our lives for a reason; to teach, to protect, to guide, to love, and to reflect His care here on earth.

If you’re a parent reading this, ask yourself: What legacy am I leaving in my child’s heart? Because love isn’t just said; it’s shown every day in the choices we make, the time we give, and the balance we keep.

Show up. Be there. Your childs path to tomorrow depends on it.

For all the kids who need a voice.

With love,

Arron B & Dana M.

Out of the mouth of babes Psalm 8:2